Blog O'Clock

I listened to Nyan Cat for over five hours today.

I also re-read some of my old blog posts, and it inspired me to write this new one. Just to refresh your memory, I am a genius, and I always write quality pieces, so you won't be disappointed reading this one.

I found a list of 25 things that I hate in one of my old blogs (http://diesel-boy.blogspot.com, April 15, 2007 if you're curious), and it inspired me to write an updated one. Therefore, I dedicate this blog to all the things I hate as of May 2011. Boy howdy, that's over four years since the last list of things I hate. So without further ado, I present to you the List of Things I Hate with a Flaming Passion 2: A List of Things I Hate With a Fiery Burning Passion, May 2011.

1. Touch screens. I'm seriously getting sick of technological advancement. Since when was it bad to have actual buttons? I don't want to look at your phone or iPad or whatever and see greasy fingerprint smears all over it; not to mention, the scrolling functions (like scrolling down a page and such) are generally pretty sucky. Give me real, physical, pressable buttons or give me death. I will never buy something, nay own something, with a touch screen. Get the freak off.

2. Wireless control devices. Oh God, having a wire is SOOOO inconvenient, isn't it? Oh wait, no, I forgot. Playing through three quarters of "Panic Attack" on my wireless Rock Band drum set only to have the batteries die at the end is inconvenient. Input lag is inconvenient. Changing batteries is inconvenient. Mobility is hardly a factor. When would I ever, ever want to use my mouse from more than about a foot away from my computer? Exactly.

3. Girls who wear pants with words on the butt. I don't care that your pants are PINK, and no, I'm not going to CHEER. Stop trying to show off your butt. If it's worth noticing, it will be noticed. Skank.

4. Girls who do other things to draw attention to themselves, then complain that they get attention a.k.a. Attention Whores. Oh I'm sorry, maybe if you weren't wearing such a ridiculously low-cut shirt I wouldn't be looking at your chest. And yes, when you slut it up to go to a club or bar, guys are going to hit on you. So shut your whiny faces.

5. Wasps. I still hate them for every possible reason. Why would that have changed?

6. Infect. I seriously don't know how Mark Rosewater is the Almighty Designer that he is, because he has created more blights on the face of Magic than anyone else. Remember Affinity and Artifact Lands? All MaRo. Now we have Infect and Phyrexian Mana. Just great.

7. People who don't work hard at their easy jobs. I am not incredibly motivated. I admit it. But when I have a job to do, and when I'm getting paid, I do my work. It's not a hard concept. Whether it be, say, taking out trash or cleaning bathrooms, I work earnestly to get my job done. Some people astound me with their laziness. I'm not going to mention names, but I'm sure a few people can figure out some specific entities who are thus.

8. The NBA. It's totally pointless.

9. Starbucks. It's one of those places that people go so they can feel superior to other people. Some of their drinks are decent, I'll admit. But at a third the price and three times the taste, I'll take Dunkin Donuts coffee any day, thank you very much.

10. Spicy food. I don't find it pleasant to have my mouth burned off, by temperature or flavor. Besides, it's not even flavor, it's just OH MY GOD HOT. Why? WHY? I'd be willing to bet it's the Starbucks Factor; that is, if you claim to like it, you're better than everyone else.

11. The fact that the best Mountain Dew flavors never win the voting contest. "What's that? Another citrus variant on the already citrus-flavored Mountain Dew? Sign me up, that's WAY better than strawberry- or fruit punch-infused Dew!"

12. Illiteracy. Some might say this is a serious problem, and they're basically right. They don't teach basically anything in school anymore, and the internet has become an engine for people to utterly disregard the English language. Come on, just teach your kids to spell, or at least be conscientious about their spelling in cases where they might be uncertain. It's called a dictionary. Heck, in this miraculous digital age, we have Wikipedia and Dictionary.com. And look up the difference between "your" and "you're." It's a difference of like two keystrokes. Not that difficult.

13. Terrible drivers. I don't know how some people with excellent control over motor vehicles were denied their license the first time they took a road test, while some of the most dangerous and uncoordinated people roam the highway unimpeded. Somebody needs to do something about that.

14. Apple. I still hate Apple. I will always hate Apple. And I will always be happy that my mouse has three times as many buttons, so I can do more things. Seriously, using a Mac is like willingly amputating your fingers; there's just no practical reason, unless you want to do video editing and such. Having less fingers is helpful in those situations. /Saracasm.

15. People who take EVERYTHING TOTALLY SERIOUSLY. Lighten up, because a lot of times things are funny if you just take a second to think about it, instead of flipping out.

16. HDTVs. Mostly because you can't play Guitar Hero/Rock Band on them. And I don't even want to hear about calibrating. It never works quite right. Aside from that, I guess HDTVs are pretty decent. But they're way too expensive to afford. Come talk to me when I can get a decent little one for 80 bucks, like the TV I bought for college. I might reconsider then.

17. Smoking. This isn't something I hate so much as something that completely and totally baffles the heck out of me. Really only in younger people, because it was so commonplace and the Health Crusaders Fighting for the Youth of America didn't exist back then to tell everyone how dangerous smoking and lead and fake sweeteners were. Why would anyone today actually start smoking? It's a more expensive and less reusable hobby than Magic, and for the people who argue that it's good at relieving stress or feeling good, I say you're just weak individuals with too little self-control and too much instant gratification. Wow, that was a long rant.

18. Console gaming. This is more of a recent thing, since now the machines they put out to run video games are just stunted computers. Everyone has a computer. It's way more cost effective to just pay for a decent video card and processor than to buy a dedicated machine that can only play video games. Okay, PS3 can go on YouTube, in a blaze of mostly irrelevant convenience. What can a console do that a PC can't? Nothing. And now you even have to install games on consoles. So where did the plug-and-play advantage go? And of course, I can't include this without the age-old mouse and keyboard superiority argument. So there it is.

(And yes, it's completely stupid that some games only come out for certain consoles. Halo would have been much better as a PC original.)

19. Girls who expect to get flowers at the drop of a hat. Those things aren't cheap. I'd rather give you something you can use, like a video game or Magic cards. Sadly, most girls aren't into cool things, and would rather me waste my money on a bundle of plants that will be dead by the end of the week.

20. Rock salt. This is largely because I had to vacuum obscene quantities of the stuff during my winter employment as an Industrial Mercenary Sanitation Operative. So this hatred is sort of conditional.

21. The High School Mentality. You know, the idea that liking Star Wars, Magic, Pokemon, or Lord of the Rings is somehow socially unacceptable. There's actually more to life than liking sports and being an idiot, teenagers of America. Reading is actually a good thing. You should try it some time.

22. Food elitists. I can't stand when people refuse to eat McDonalds or Taco Bell because it's not "good." Get off your high nutritional horse already. This is America, we eat junk here. And darnit, the stuff tastes good.

23. Little kids who talk back to adults they don't/barely know. Man, when did parents stop teaching their kids to be polite to their elders?

24. RPI. Man, I'm so glad to be done with that place. What a huge pain in the butt.

25. Losing. I hate losing at anything. It makes me really mad. I want to win all the time. When I win, I have more fun. When I lose, I just rage and then win next time. I wish more people were like me. They might try a lot harder if they were.

And there you have it. A new list of things I hate. Happy trails, everyone.